Category

Crazy Mummy Syndrome

I think the price for perfectionism is the pain that you experience when you don’t reach the level of perfection that you hoped to.

All In The Mind | Australian Story – Gary McDonald (Monday, 5 October , 2015) 


I watched this episode of Australian Story on Monday night (as recommended by my mother-in-law) as part of the ABC’s Mental As program this week.

It struck so many cords of similarity in my own way of thinking. Garry McDonald talks about perfectionism and using CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) as a way of managing the thoughts in your head. I have, and continue, to use this process when I’m in a fog.

Take today for instance. I am smiling and social. It is after all Wednesday – and I’ve just finished my Wednesday coffee catch up at my place. It has become a tradition that on Wednesday morning after school drop off, a group of friends will pop into my place to enjoy a home made coffee on my sparkling machine.

FullSizeRender 2

I love it. I love that it isn’t always the same group, depending on prior arrangements, but that everyone sits and chats. It gives me that social catchup I need in my week. Otherwise I don’t think I would see anyone except for drop off and pick up times. And sometimes, I just want to get home – to my safety net.

But now that everyone has gone, I’m alone with my fog. I am tired, after a restless night with the 4 year old, and it is compounding on my lack of focus and will power.

So now comes the tough part. I have to challenge my thoughts. It is almost like I have to talk back to my brain.

Brain: No one will care if you lie down on the lounge all day today.

Me: I have to work.

Brain: No you don’t. Your hopeless at it anyway.

Me: No, I have to write my post first.

Brain: Then lie down and do nothing.

Me: I could, but then I’ll end up behind in my work. And I will feel worse.

Brain: Perfect.

Me: No it is not perfect. I don’t want to feel worse.

Brain: I can make you feel worse.

Me: Shut up. I’m putting some music on to drown you out.

And now I’m distracting myself by listening to one of my playlists on Spotify. It is upbeat and gets me wanting to dance. I’ve turned it up loud enough to only be able to hear ‘Me’ and not ‘Brain’.

Here it is if you want a listen and need to drown out the voices, or as I call them – the monsters in my head

https://open.spotify.com/user/1251365346/playlist/1uYJD1QXQlB5TMld2btSOn

I would love to know what you use as your own distraction…

Today is back to school for my daughter, back to kindy for my son, and back to work for me & hubby.

I think we were all a little sheepish today. Daylight savings has us in a mini fog, and this heat is adding to the tiredness. Day 4 of plus 30 degree temps in Sydney. Just unheard of for this time of year.

So back to the grind for the four of us.

I’m late writing this morning as i had a catch up session at the gym today. I missed last weeks due to the sickness in our home and I only remembered as I was falling asleep last night that I had planned to go today. I woke to my son telling me he had wet the bed. Our bed. He had crept in during the night (a habit he had gotten into whilst he was sick) and although he had been doing so well for the last few weeks, this morning he must have been extra tired and just did not wake up in time.

It was 5.45am. My response was to just get up with him and put on the shower. I woke my hubby who groaned unhappily, but he was due to get up at 6.00am so what did it matter. Doesn’t it feel better to wake up before your alarm anyway – so that you are not startled from your sleep?

See things like that don’t bother me. I don’t make a fuss with my son as i don’t want him to be upset about something that happens to everyone. I just get up and get on with the job.

He showered, and dressed for kindy, ate breakfast as I made his sisters lunch. I actually felt like I was in control this morning. I even managed to get the kids off to before school care & kindy with just enough time for me to make it to my training session.

And what a beautiful morning to arrive at Cronulla at the gym.

FullSizeRender

Chatting to my trainer, I told him about how hubby and i have started our eating clean program, to kick start my mood. I know that not eating well affects my brain and so now we are working on that together.

The session was good, and then as we finished I jumped on the scales… I had put on 2kgs in 2 weeks. There is that comfort eating I knew I had been doing. I knew I felt disgusting, and now the scales had confirmed it. I had not been this heavy since I first started at the gym – back when Ryder was only 9 weeks old. And whilst I don’t put pressure on myself to be ultra skinny, I do know my ‘happy’ weight range and I was 4kgs above that.

I have to stop pretending that I don’t care about my weight. I do. And I know at the moment, the fact I can’t fit into any of my shorts from last summer that I am holding that pain inside. So forgive me for wearing my #activewear to work, but it is all that fits me right now.

And it’s hit me – I was in a bikini in front of my neighbours yesterday. Oh gees, what a fat, white mess.  Mind you a did put the disclaimer in before jumping in the pool that I was a fat, white mess… so at least I pre-warned them. I’m seriously pale – fluro even at the moment. Like my skin is allergic to the sun. Guess I need to leave the house more. *sigh*

I know that to feel better about myself I will have to put some effort in. But I have been struggling to exercise without knee pain. (More on that story later, I’m not yet ready to delve deeper there. Though I will get it out – as I’m sure it will relieve me.)

If I am eating right, I hope to have more energy and feel like trying low impact exercising. Mind you the garden work I did the other day I have claimed as my cardio for this week. Though the eating I did over the long weekend more than cancelled that out.

It’s another day today, and whilst I am feeling lighter in the head space, I still have so many doubts. Doubtful I will be able to stick to our healthy eating plan (notice I didn’t say diet? I don’t diet – as I treat it as a ongoing plan to eat healthy), doubtful I will get some exercise in, doubtful it will make a difference to my brain or my body, doubtful I am worth it.

But I have to keep on challenging those thoughts.

Well yesterday started out anxious and full of flutter.

Grand Final day in the Rugby League and we were having a small BBQ at our place. My anxiety was purely from the alcohol I’d had the day before, and knowing that I had to get the place ready for our visitors. I went up to the shops to pick up a few bits and pieces, and once there, realised i could not decide on what to buy.

I often have lack of focus when dealing with anxiety. Combine that with a weary head and I could not put two thoughts together.  I’m sure it would have looked funny on the outside we me just wandering the aisles aimlessly. But at least I wasn’t talking to myself as well… So the shopping trip took a little longer than expected but I did get there in the end.

Oh had a few ‘fail’ moments yesterday as well. Completely had no idea daylight savings had kicked in, so spent the first few hours of the day thinking we had all had a sleep in and gotten out of bed at 8am. Well technically we had, though I did not benefit from an extra hours sleep. Then had that feeling I was running late all day.

Made some sorbet for dessert in my Thermomix. For any thermogeeks out there I forgot to mill my sugar first, so I’d put the berries in, plus all the ice, then removed half of the ice again (read the recipe again) and realised I had to put in half the amount of ice at a time. Then mixed everything – ah shit forgot the egg white, opened the lid, cracked an egg – ah shit didn’t separate the egg white, had to scoop the yolk out with my hand (they were clean I promise) – it was now I realised I forgot the sugar, oh well who needs sugar. And then just processed the shit out of it and stuck it in the freezer.

FullSizeRender 2

Don’t tell anyone…

Any how, the day was lovely spending the afternoon with old friends and their kids. My anxiety was at bay, actually I didn’t even think about it all evening. Watching the grand final game, and being surrounded by people who have known me for years just made me feel comfortable and ‘at home’.

Mind you the game was a great on to watch and I’m not ashamed to say that I love my footy. I love my sport actually. I’m so happy that JT got his fairytale ending. It was amazing to watch all the ups and downs. And see all the tears flowing freely from grown men. I feel for Ben Hunt and dropping the ball. My heart went out to him – as he has been amazing all year. I know that’s what I’ll remember instead of one moment in the GF. Hopefully he will too.

I’m now enjoying a morning on the back deck having a late breakfast date in the sun with my hubby. We are watching the 49ers NFL match as I am following Jarryd Hayne with interest. Did I say I love my footy? Well I don’t care the code. Watching sport is one of those happy feelings for me. Win, lose or draw, I have a tonne of respect for the mental challenges professional athletes go through. I almost said toughness, but they are no different to you and me. They struggle, they have constant battles to be the best and take it hard when they make professional mistakes. It can mean their careers.

FullSizeRender 4

Hopefully my truthfulness hasn’t meant the end to my career.

 

Well I drank 2 beers too many last night, just so I could sleep.

One of the biggest signs that my anxiety and depression are affecting me is that I can not get to sleep. Even though I feel completely exhausted at night, my brain just won’t shut off. Lack of sleep affects me really badly and I start to become emotional and overly sad.

Yesterday was no exception.

After publishing my first post I immediately felt better. Then went downhill fast. Hubby came home from the gym and we started working in the back yard, when he ducked out again to pick up some supplies from Bunnings.

I could not focus on what I needed to get done and realised I hadn’t eaten breakfast. Maybe a bit of food in my belly would help with my brain power. But I just couldn’t stomach it. My anxiety had taken my hunger away. I was half way through forcing my weetbix down when hubby returned.

He took one look at me and asked if I was ok. And I said, ‘I don’t feel well today’ as he tapped on my head in question. I nodded and then the tears started.

I have to admit I hate feeling this way. I hate being a burden, a problem. Worthless, and hopeless.

I sat there as he hugged me, and just let it be for a few moments. Then I knew I had to keep myself busy, so I got stuck into carting soil from the front driveway into the back yard. I carried on with this over the day as we worked hard in the 30 degree heat. I sweated, got stinky, realised I hadn’t put any deodorant on (something I often forget to do when feeling anxious – weird) and tried to push the thoughts out of my head.

Thoughts like how my kids would be if I wasn’t there. How they would live with the fact that their mum wasn’t around any more. Honestly speaking I never travel the path of how to go out, because I focus on how I don’t want to leave my kids behind. How I want to see them grow up, I want to see them – just see them everyday.

I’d had enough work by 4pm and rinsed off with a cold shower before popping over to one of our neighbours for a drink. The same neighbours had kindly offered to have the kids for a water play date whilst we finished off the yard work. Thank goodness for our wonderful community.

We stayed for a couple of hours, before my brain got the better of me and I had to come home. I start to feel uncomfortable, and need the comfort of home. The comfort of my lounge again. It was only early but I brought my little guy home too as he was still not well. It was not even 7pm.

I sat on the lounge and had a couple more beers whilst watching a movie, as all I wanted was to be able to fall asleep. There was no worry of that though as by the time I went to bed at 8.30 I’d had six beers and was feeling the affect.IMG_5261

I now sit here with a headache and although I’ve slept, I haven’t benefitted from it. My body instead of resting has spent the last night trying to rid my body of alcohol. And I still smell… Off to the shower to start a new day.

 

It is Saturday morning, and I have been lying to myself for weeks.

I have been in a funk for over a month, and am just sailing through the days. I have been telling myself I’m fine – but really I am coasting along. Annoyed at myself for being so boring. I get up every morning, and go through the motions. Barely scraping by. I’m not exercising enough. Not eating healthy, and turning into the person who sits on the couch at any time i’m not looking after the kids. I’ve turned to my phone & iPad to play games rather than interact with the world. I just don’t think I have anything to offer.

Farkkkkkkkk, I need to do something.

IMG_5252So here it is.

After posting photos on Facebook yesterday of my 4 year old son eating a mango – I realised at that moment we looked happy and ready for summer. But in truth, he was sick with a virus, and other than being off the lounge to eat that piece of fruit he spent the rest of the day on the lounge sleeping and dealing with a high temp.

I was lying again.

I never tell the truth on social media – or that is I never document the shitty, hard, and sometimes down right exhausting. So this month I’m changing that. I’m going to record the everyday. The bad, the ugly, the terrifying, and the normal.

Starting right now.

IMG_5256This is me. At 8.30am this morning.

And no I’m not going for a run. I’m out the back waiting for my hubby to return from the gym (yes thats right i’m on my ass again whilst everyone else is out to greet the morning) so I can help him get stuck into a day of gardening. No makeup, no filter, no professional camera, just me.

I have to push myself to just get out of the back door of my house. I feel so much more comfortable on the lounge – hiding away from everything, that even sitting outside on a nice day is a challenge at times.

I have set a challenge for myself for the rest of the month – seeing as October is Mental Health month – I’m going to tell the truth. No more sugar coating, no more ‘how happy are we’. Just real every day mental as bullshit.

No editing, no filter, just real 100% me.

So please be kind – I will be writing as I think – no revisions on my spelling, grammar or otherwise. This is words per minute.

Here goes nothing…

#mentalas #crazymummy #itsthelittlethings

Part 3 of our Everyday Mindfulness Series is all about looking after yourself.

It’s about looking after your body, your mind, your home, your looks, your own self-confidence, and your own karma. It’s about finding little ways in your life that you can concentrate on YOU, and make yourself feel good on any random day of the week – no special occasion required!

Get so involved with your cleaning and housework that it makes you sweat –

I know in the heat of summer this is not hard at all to get a sweat on, but in the winter – well, not so much. But aside from this, I am a firm believer in getting a two for one deal; so if I am going to get sweaty and dirty, then I might as well get some physical benefit from it also! So invest in a cheap pair of wrist weights and ankle weights (I know that target have some very tidy priced versions right now), and strap these to you while you do the hoovering, hanging the washing, dusting etc.

And while you are at it, try to walk EVERYWHERE, as often as you can. If your life is busy, and exercise isn’t always that easy for you to schedule in, then this tip could do you the world of good.

Remember, incidental exercise can be your friend!

Find that little bit of fabulousness, and flaunt it –

Rock your own self-confidence, and own it. Put some extra effort into your hairstyle or make-up some days. You know how good it feels to step out of the salon with your new do – well then why don’t you try to make yourself feel like that as often as you can. Take a little extra time in the morning before you leave the house with your hair. Perhaps try a new lipstick colour – or even a different fragrance. A little bit of extra fabulousness is bound to boost your confidence and put a little spring in your step for the day. Especially when other people start to notice!

Create your own karma –

Do good things for others – for no reason at all, and for nothing expected in return. I believe that Karma is not a bitch, but instead she is a princess. So be good to others, and the universe will be good to you. The law of attraction really does work – as you attract what you give out (believe me on this one!)

Treat yourself –

Treat yourself once in a while. For some reason, we ladies (especially when we become mothers) always end up putting ourselves last. Well once in a while – buy that gorgeous top you saw recently in the store window. Or get a facial, a massage, or a little treat with your coffee. Have a bath, and then sip on a nice glass of wine while you do it!

Enjoy some little treats for yourself, and you will soon begin appreciate yourself (and what you do for everyone else) so much more. You are so worth it!

Acknowledge your anxieties –

It is ok to feel anxious at times. It is normal to feel moody, or get the blues – but try not to beat yourself up over them, as this might send you further into a downward spiral. Instead, acknowledge that this is not a permanent state of being for you, and aim to get on with feeling normal again soon.

Life is not meant to be a continuous roll of perfect happiness… we need to have those ups and downs to realise what really matters to us.

I remember an old plaque that used to hang on our toilet door in my childhood home which read:

“To appreciate the heights, one has to have been to the depths”.

And it’s so true. If you have never experienced any sadness or heartaches, then how on earth would you learn to treasure those good times?

But at the end of the day, try not to let your worries or sadness consume you. Recognize them, acknowledge them, rise above them, and carry on.

And finally….

Take some time to smell the flowers –

And I mean this in both the literal, and the figurative sense. To me it means – keep your senses open to everything that comes your way, and appreciate even the littlest of things. It is the tagline of my blog Once Upon A Violet, after all!

When I walk my four year old to pre-school each day, we talk about the seasons, and what differences we take note of at certain times of the year. We notice the colour of the leaves, and what flowers are blooming at each particular time. At four years old, she has a better knowledge of horticulture than even most adults I know….

But it’s not the names of the flowers that I want her to know per se… – it’s her ability to recognise these different flowers in and around different parts of our general community (and at different times of the year) that I find the more important skill.

It shows me that she is walking around with her head high, and her eyes wide open.

It shows me that she takes notice of her world, and of what is going on in it.

It shows me that she can understand that changes will occur in life, and she is ok with that. And it shows me that she doesn’t judge what she sees, straight off – Instead she can see it for what it is, but also accept the hidden beauty that often lies within.

Wow! If only she knew the meaningfulness (and the mindfulness) of her actions!


bio head shot

Dani is a thirty (something) wife and mother of one. She is a jewellery designer, small business owner, writer, and also an Intensive Care Nurse – so a bit of a mixed bag of skills really.

She tries to navigate life balancing work, creativity, and family by focusing on the powers of mindfulness and positivity. She documents her journey and what she has learned through her blog – onceuponaviolet.com

Today’s guest post is right from the heart of Karlie Cunningham-Lloyd – the brains behind Coco Motion Mumma. Karlie is a trained Personal Development, Health and Physical Education teacher, Personal Trainer, and soon to be fully qualified Wellness Coach, but most importantly, a mum to my two children aged 6 and 4 years.


Her alarm goes off at 4.45am; she rolls over and swipes her iPhone to stop it from waking the children. Without thinking she walks to the bathroom where she has her gym clothes placed out from the night before.

She gets dressed, cleans her teeth, brushes her hair and tiptoes out the front door hoping not to have made any noise. She drives to the gym to get in a workout, sweat a little and head home all before her children wake and she is on breakfast, school lunch, and “Mummy, help me get dressed” duty. Some how she manages to do all of this and get out the door to get her kids to day care, school and herself to work all by 7.30am.

This early morning routine is one that I can relate to.

Because it is mine.

There are a few things in life that I know.

I know that making exercise part of my day makes me a happy mumma. If that means getting up at a ridiculous hour (yes, I acknowledge its insane) then that is what I will do to fit it in.

I realise the importance of fitness and exercise to my overall well-being and more importantly my mindset. The sense of accomplishment when I complete a workout, the feel good hormone that pulsates through my body when I get my body moving, the sensation of hanging in a handstand and the ability to grab an hour to myself each morning is an integral part of my day.

All these side effects don’t have to be felt so early in the day. They can be felt after you have dropped the kids at school, during that peaceful midday nap time, at the park while the kids are at soccer training or chasing the kids around a bike track while they ride.

You see exercise doesn’t have to be something that you dread. But it does have to be something that we do daily.

I completely understand that as mums we live highly productive and full lives. Some days it feels like there just aren’t enough hours. Spending time on ourselves can sometimes appear to be selfish. But I also acknowledge that a healthy and happy mumma makes for healthy and happy kids.

Think about what you love to do, do you love to dance? Do you love to go for long walks? Do you like feeling the sand between your toes?  Do you love to swim, stand up paddleboard or socialise with friends? Who said your exercise program had to be structured and at a gym? Who said that it needed to last for a certain amount of time?

To ensure we are participating in activities we enjoy and keep with the theme of mums being the best multi-taskers in the world, why can’t our daily exercise look like the following?

Walking to grab a coffee with a friend at the beach, followed by a swim afterward to cool off. Easy!

Some day’s, exercise can be a side effect of our schedules. But to make it a priority, write it in the diary just like you do doctors appointments and swimming lessons.

What are you going to do today as your exercise?

With most things in life, there are two sides to the coin and with exercise comes nutrition. How are we choosing to nourish our bodies? What are we putting in to fuel them so that we can get though long days without experiencing sugar crashes and hunger pains?

I am a strong believer in finding what works for you. I have been experimenting over the years to find a way of eating that allows me to feel:

Fuller for longer

Maintain energy levels through the day and skip that 3pm slump

Maintain sugar levels to reduce the afternoon cravings

Have a happy gut without the pain and bloat.

What does that look like? Well it looks like a lot of vegetables, fruits, meat, nuts, seeds and occasional dairy. The combinations I make of these foods may look a little unconventional but it allows me to have more energy throughout my day, maintain my weight, feel satiated, and have clearer skin and healthy hair. As opposed to the lethargic, carrying 5kg of extra bloat, always hungry and prepubescent skin of the former me of 5 years ago!

I thought I was eating the right way. Cereal with skim milk for breakfast, skim milk cappuccino mid morning, a loaded salad roll and fruit for lunch, low fat rice crackers for afternoon tea. A large bowl of pasta with Napoletana sauce mixed with some vegetable for dinner. Tinned fruit and low fat yoghurt for desert.

With all of this food I never seemed to feel full, and an hour after each meal I was counting down the hours until I could eat again. I thought I was following the low fat lifestyle to a tea, but just not getting any results. It appears I was on the blood sugar roll-a-coaster to hunger and frumpiness.

So what does feeling fuller longer look like?

There are a few key things.

Add protein (meat, eggs, protein powder) to every meal.

Eat when you hungry – honour what your body is telling you.

Now my meals look very different but are a lot more exciting and flavoursome.

Breakfast includes eggs in salsa on a cauliflower mash, or an eggwhite banana pancake. An almond milk cappuccino and some nuts mid morning. A big salad with turkey or ham, drizzled with balsamic vinegar and a piece of fruit for lunch. Chopped vegetables with almond butter for afternoon tea. Steak, roasted sweet potato, homemade coleslaw and avocado for dinner. Desert is typically some coconut yoghurt or ice cream made from frozen bananas, cacao and shredded coconut.

If you would have told me to eat that way a few years ago it would have given me anxiety and stress. The lack of low fat products and the amount of protein would have completely freaked me out. Now that I know that fat is not my enemy and that it is a key ingredient to making me feel full, I am not shy in adding it in.

Can you relate to how I was eating to fuel my body and not getting any results?  Are you willing to invest in your self to feel fantastic?

I would love to help you experience better health. All of my recipes are healthy, gluten free, mostly grain free and dairy free (some times I use gluten free oats and the occasional cheese). I have created healthy alternatives to all of my family favourites – Banana bread, hot cross bun loaf, donuts, Coco crunch, smoothies, paleo bread, cocoflower balls and much more.

There are also some great workout ideas and video attachments when you subscribe to my newsletter. Feel free to check it all out.


coco motion mummaMy name is Karlie and I am the Coco Motion Mumma. A fitness foodie mum who enables women to raise children that are heart-fully healthy.

I aim to inspire and motivate you to EAT real food, MOVE your body daily and DREAM big. Come and join me in my pursuit to be a positive role model for my children and those that I have the pleasure of meeting.

Read about some of my adventures on the blog, check out some recipes or grab some of my workout ideas.

You can read more about my journey and family life here –

Website: www.cocomotionmumma.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/cocomotionmumma

Twitter: https://twitter.com/cocomotionmumma

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cocomotionmumma

The conversation edition.

Welcome back to The Crazy Mummy Blog, and our Everyday Mindfulness series, written by guest blogger Danielle Tinkler from Once Upon A Violet 

In this edition, we bring you some everyday ideas to get a little bit of that old thing called “conversation” back into your life. Interesting adult conversation is something that all of us mummies admit to missing out on – but it doesn’t have to be that way. A little bit of conscious, and mindful effort can get you away from the nappy talk – and back into your old frame of mind for a while.


Get (a little bit) on top of current affairs and events.

Sometimes with all of the stresses involved in everyday life, you tend to not notice what is going on outside your own little bubble. Now I’m not saying that you have to read every paper, and catch every news feed throughout the day – but just listen to some of the top stories every now and then. Learn a little more about what is going on in the world, both the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, local and overseas. It will broaden your conversation with others, and make for much more interesting chit-chat with your partner and friends too – not just the usual, mundane natter about what the kids are doing.

Learn a new skill – at least one new thing every 12 months.

I have incorporated this into my life since I was a crazy teen… But it keeps things fresh. Some of my antics have been a little weird such as learning to fire twirl, a course on crystal healing, becoming a DJ, and doing a face-painting course for kids birthday parties (this is actually quite a handy skill to have to be honest, as what child doesn’t love a face painter?.?) – to the little more subdued including jewellery making, yoga, learning how to have a baby, a small business course, learning how to build a website, writing, blogging etc….

Yes I admit – I do like to be creative, so I have no troubles coming up with ideas for this one, but all you have to do is simply go through your local community college brochure for ideas that you could try. You Tube is also a great source for the online learning and self-teaching of the weird and wonderful – Just ask my brother. I would love to try photography, and hula hooping in the future.

Date night.

Try for at least one night a month to get out and about (one-on-one) with your partner – or if not your partner, then a good mate. Here is where the suggestions above can come into play, as it gives you some positive feelings and plenty of conversation and new topics to chat about.

Practice passiveness.

Not all of the time – just some of the time. Tone yourself (and your opinions) down a bit, and let others take the lead. Let other people in your life take control and make some decisions for a change.

I have a terrible habit of always “putting my two cents in”. Be it where I think my husband should park the car, the best way to cook something, or even how to hang the washing out to “my specifications”. But do you know what? In the end it doesn’t really matter.

By putting my two cents in and simply telling others what they should do, I can be perceived as a complete nag – so sometimes it is just better to keep my mouth shut. Now I am not saying that I have turned myself into a Stepford Wife or anything, but I have definitely been making an effort to let others find their own way…. Life doesn’t always have to be the way I would do it.

If my husband struggles and seems to take the longer way around – so be it. He will get there in the end, and will probably be happier for it.

Although this technique might sound like the opposite of conversation, by giving someone else the opportunity to take the lead it might actually open up the conversation floodgates.

If you are experiencing a stressful situation, then try to free yourself from your own unnecessary judgements. Take a look at your thoughts and try to see what is really happening here. Break each thought down to the actual reality, and you will soon see that the situation really isn’t such a big problem at all. It is what it is… And it doesn’t have to be as bad as you think. When you take your judgements out of it, you also take away the drama and emotion out of the situation – so it should be much easier to get yourself back on track.

It is reality, but it is only a moment, and it will pass.

Be thankful.

You are reading this right now – so on that fact alone you have good eyesight. You are educated and are able to read the words. You have access to the internet, and you must be using some sort of device to use the internet – so you must have a comfortable enough bank account to pay the bills. Chances are you have a child or two, three, four… (Well you are reading Crazy Mummy right now, so that’s obvious)…. And so on and so on…..

No matter how down you feel, you can always look around you and break it down to its upmost reality. Just as described in the previous point, and be thankful that you have the insight to see it for what it really is.

Dani xo


bio head shot

About Dani

Dani is a thirty (something) wife, and mother of one. She is a jewellery designer, a small business owner, a freelance writer, and also a paediatric ICU nurse – so a bit of a mixed bag of skills really.

She tries to navigate life balancing her creative spirit vs her stubborn streak, by being mindful of her own thoughts & behaviours – having learned long ago that this is probably the only thing in life that she actually can control. And has since spent the rest of her time simply trying to roll with it…. A task that is much easier said than done!

A self-confessed Instagram junkie, based in the eastern suburbs of Sydney. Her favourite things include power walking, window shopping, coffee & red wine – depending on the time of day that is!

Read more from Dani at Onceuponaviolet.com 

Check out her jewellery at honeydewandviolet.com.au 

I have been hiding out over the last few months. Hiding behind my computer. Not wanting to write, not wanting to bore you with – stuff.

So I shut down.

And began to suffer.

I’ve had a few months of loss and sadness. A few months of picking myself back up again. And now, I’ve remembered just how much I missed my writing.

My outlet for these voices in my head.

I have thrown myself into working on my client’s businesses and not spent any time on my own. Let alone my mental or physical health.

And so I’m forcing myself back into the writing game. Where my writing doesn’t have to be perfect – but I just need to get shit out there. Again.

So here goes…

 

 

It is so important to get a bit of a reality check at times, and that is exactly what ‘mindfulness’ is – It is a reality check, with a positive vibe.

So join us here on The Crazy Mummy Blog for our 3-part Everyday Mindfullness series written by our delightful guest blogger, Danielle Tinkler  – the voice behind of the up-and-coming blog, Once Upon A Violet.


You don’t have to practice all of these, every day. But by occasionally adding some of these in, some of the time– you can create yourself a heightened sense of happy, with even the most mundane of tasks…

Here are a few thought provoking tips on how you can get the most out of the little things in life.

1. Get up early. 

Earlier than usual that is (and earlier than the rest of your household) and make yourself a cuppa, and sit down to do something you really enjoy – in total peace and quiet.

2. Take a long walk. 

Get out and about , and around your neighbourhood at least once a week. Marvel at the gorgeous parks and gardens. See what others are doing to their houses. Make a note of local personalities in your area – and start saying hello to them.

Incorporate this into part your exercise routine, and you are winning on 3 levels – Mindfulness, community awareness, and exercise.

3. Think small.

Challenge yourself to NOT shop at the big chain supermarkets for a while. Be it one week, two weeks, or the whole month. Shop only from the small businesses including the fruiterer, fishmonger, butcher, deli, baker, and corner store.

You will be amazed in the difference in quality, you may even save money (by buying only the things you actually need), and your body will thank you for it due to the fewer amount of processed foods and “handy packs”. And the fact that you are shopping local, helps the small businesses within your community. Its feel good all round!

4. Let someone win an argument. 

I know this one sounds odd, but the feeling you get from diffusing tension in your world can be truly amazing. The prime example – a fight with your partner or loved one. Come on, I know we all can do it!

When someone you love starts to “kick-off” and you feel an argument brewing, take a deep breath, nod your head, and simply validate what they are saying. Most people when they “kick-off” about something really only want their issues to be heard, and have their feelings acknowledged. Imagine their surprise when they start to rant, and suddenly you agree with them, and let them run with it… They won’t know where to go with it from there, and the tension will start to diffuse. World War III might be avoided, and a happy household will be restored. Try it. I dare you.

5. Learn people’s names.

Especially in and around your community. Like Bob – the old fellow from down the road from me who has created the most beautiful peace park you will ever see, on just a little bit of council land. Or Lucy and Jamie who run the tiny corner store. Doris who runs the best café I know, Lester in the post office, and Vince – my FedEx guy.

People are what make a community. People give it spirit. Learning each other’s names is just the start of bringing our neighbours together. Team this point with number 2& 3.

Well I hope these few little tips can bring a smile to your face when you go about your everyday business. It’s not hard to be mindful – because at the end of the day, it’s only about being aware of your surroundings, and appreciating the environment that you have.

Enjoy!  Dani  xo


About Danibio head shot

Dani is a thirty (something) wife, and mother of one. She is a jewellery designer, a small business owner, a freelance writer, and also a paediatric ICU nurse – so a bit of a mixed bag of skills really. She tries to navigate life balancing her creative spirit vs her stubborn streak, by being mindful of her own thoughts & behaviours – having learned long ago that this is probably the only thing in life that she actually can control. And has since spent the rest of her time simply trying to roll with it…. A task that is much easier said than done!

A self-confessed Instagram junkie, based in the eastern suburbs of Sydney. Her favourite things include power walking, window shopping, coffee & red wine – depending on the time of day that is!

Read more from Dani at Onceuponaviolet.com

Check out her jewellery at honeydewandviolet.com.au