Well yesterday started out anxious and full of flutter.
Grand Final day in the Rugby League and we were having a small BBQ at our place. My anxiety was purely from the alcohol I’d had the day before, and knowing that I had to get the place ready for our visitors. I went up to the shops to pick up a few bits and pieces, and once there, realised i could not decide on what to buy.
I often have lack of focus when dealing with anxiety. Combine that with a weary head and I could not put two thoughts together. I’m sure it would have looked funny on the outside we me just wandering the aisles aimlessly. But at least I wasn’t talking to myself as well… So the shopping trip took a little longer than expected but I did get there in the end.
Oh had a few ‘fail’ moments yesterday as well. Completely had no idea daylight savings had kicked in, so spent the first few hours of the day thinking we had all had a sleep in and gotten out of bed at 8am. Well technically we had, though I did not benefit from an extra hours sleep. Then had that feeling I was running late all day.
Made some sorbet for dessert in my Thermomix. For any thermogeeks out there I forgot to mill my sugar first, so I’d put the berries in, plus all the ice, then removed half of the ice again (read the recipe again) and realised I had to put in half the amount of ice at a time. Then mixed everything – ah shit forgot the egg white, opened the lid, cracked an egg – ah shit didn’t separate the egg white, had to scoop the yolk out with my hand (they were clean I promise) – it was now I realised I forgot the sugar, oh well who needs sugar. And then just processed the shit out of it and stuck it in the freezer.
Don’t tell anyone…
Any how, the day was lovely spending the afternoon with old friends and their kids. My anxiety was at bay, actually I didn’t even think about it all evening. Watching the grand final game, and being surrounded by people who have known me for years just made me feel comfortable and ‘at home’.
Mind you the game was a great on to watch and I’m not ashamed to say that I love my footy. I love my sport actually. I’m so happy that JT got his fairytale ending. It was amazing to watch all the ups and downs. And see all the tears flowing freely from grown men. I feel for Ben Hunt and dropping the ball. My heart went out to him – as he has been amazing all year. I know that’s what I’ll remember instead of one moment in the GF. Hopefully he will too.
I’m now enjoying a morning on the back deck having a late breakfast date in the sun with my hubby. We are watching the 49ers NFL match as I am following Jarryd Hayne with interest. Did I say I love my footy? Well I don’t care the code. Watching sport is one of those happy feelings for me. Win, lose or draw, I have a tonne of respect for the mental challenges professional athletes go through. I almost said toughness, but they are no different to you and me. They struggle, they have constant battles to be the best and take it hard when they make professional mistakes. It can mean their careers.
Hopefully my truthfulness hasn’t meant the end to my career.