Everyday Mindfulness – Part 2

The conversation edition.

Welcome back to The Crazy Mummy Blog, and our Everyday Mindfulness series, written by guest blogger Danielle Tinkler from Once Upon A Violet 

In this edition, we bring you some everyday ideas to get a little bit of that old thing called “conversation” back into your life. Interesting adult conversation is something that all of us mummies admit to missing out on – but it doesn’t have to be that way. A little bit of conscious, and mindful effort can get you away from the nappy talk – and back into your old frame of mind for a while.

Get (a little bit) on top of current affairs and events.

Sometimes with all of the stresses involved in everyday life, you tend to not notice what is going on outside your own little bubble. Now I’m not saying that you have to read every paper, and catch every news feed throughout the day – but just listen to some of the top stories every now and then. Learn a little more about what is going on in the world, both the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, local and overseas. It will broaden your conversation with others, and make for much more interesting chit-chat with your partner and friends too – not just the usual, mundane natter about what the kids are doing.

Learn a new skill – at least one new thing every 12 months.

I have incorporated this into my life since I was a crazy teen… But it keeps things fresh. Some of my antics have been a little weird such as learning to fire twirl, a course on crystal healing, becoming a DJ, and doing a face-painting course for kids birthday parties (this is actually quite a handy skill to have to be honest, as what child doesn’t love a face painter?.?) – to the little more subdued including jewellery making, yoga, learning how to have a baby, a small business course, learning how to build a website, writing, blogging etc….

Yes I admit – I do like to be creative, so I have no troubles coming up with ideas for this one, but all you have to do is simply go through your local community college brochure for ideas that you could try. You Tube is also a great source for the online learning and self-teaching of the weird and wonderful – Just ask my brother. I would love to try photography, and hula hooping in the future.

Date night.

Try for at least one night a month to get out and about (one-on-one) with your partner – or if not your partner, then a good mate. Here is where the suggestions above can come into play, as it gives you some positive feelings and plenty of conversation and new topics to chat about.

Practice passiveness.

Not all of the time – just some of the time. Tone yourself (and your opinions) down a bit, and let others take the lead. Let other people in your life take control and make some decisions for a change.

I have a terrible habit of always “putting my two cents in”. Be it where I think my husband should park the car, the best way to cook something, or even how to hang the washing out to “my specifications”. But do you know what? In the end it doesn’t really matter.

By putting my two cents in and simply telling others what they should do, I can be perceived as a complete nag – so sometimes it is just better to keep my mouth shut. Now I am not saying that I have turned myself into a Stepford Wife or anything, but I have definitely been making an effort to let others find their own way…. Life doesn’t always have to be the way I would do it.

If my husband struggles and seems to take the longer way around – so be it. He will get there in the end, and will probably be happier for it.

Although this technique might sound like the opposite of conversation, by giving someone else the opportunity to take the lead it might actually open up the conversation floodgates.

If you are experiencing a stressful situation, then try to free yourself from your own unnecessary judgements. Take a look at your thoughts and try to see what is really happening here. Break each thought down to the actual reality, and you will soon see that the situation really isn’t such a big problem at all. It is what it is… And it doesn’t have to be as bad as you think. When you take your judgements out of it, you also take away the drama and emotion out of the situation – so it should be much easier to get yourself back on track.

It is reality, but it is only a moment, and it will pass.

Be thankful.

You are reading this right now – so on that fact alone you have good eyesight. You are educated and are able to read the words. You have access to the internet, and you must be using some sort of device to use the internet – so you must have a comfortable enough bank account to pay the bills. Chances are you have a child or two, three, four… (Well you are reading Crazy Mummy right now, so that’s obvious)…. And so on and so on…..

No matter how down you feel, you can always look around you and break it down to its upmost reality. Just as described in the previous point, and be thankful that you have the insight to see it for what it really is.

Dani xo

bio head shot

About Dani

Dani is a thirty (something) wife, and mother of one. She is a jewellery designer, a small business owner, a freelance writer, and also a paediatric ICU nurse – so a bit of a mixed bag of skills really.

She tries to navigate life balancing her creative spirit vs her stubborn streak, by being mindful of her own thoughts & behaviours – having learned long ago that this is probably the only thing in life that she actually can control. And has since spent the rest of her time simply trying to roll with it…. A task that is much easier said than done!

A self-confessed Instagram junkie, based in the eastern suburbs of Sydney. Her favourite things include power walking, window shopping, coffee & red wine – depending on the time of day that is!

Read more from Dani at Onceuponaviolet.com 

Check out her jewellery at honeydewandviolet.com.au 

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